shut up and clean
I fulfilled on a resolution last week, going back into the arms of qualified dental professionals for the first time in over 2.5 years. I officially quit on regular check-ups a while back, due to my utter frustration with the whole process.
Imagine taking your car in for service, and instead of just reading newspapers from a week ago and drinking coffee flavoured transmission fluid, you have to wait in the car while it's put up on the hoist, and you can't talk because of the thoughtful gag placed in your mouth. But the mechanic can talk, alright. And while you wait, instead of just going ahead and tuning up the car, he or she decides that they're going to give you a really pretty complete lecture about how bad a driver you are, how you're ruining the car, how if you keep this up, they just might have to yank the car away from you altogether.
You get the idea. I gave up on paying for the privelege for a while. You want to know something, dentistry? I actually know I could brush more. I'm aware of it, in much the same way that a smoker is aware the smoking is bad for you. So stop telling me how to brush. I know how. How is not the issue. Stop dropping hints about good times to floss. I'm flossing when I feel like it. Just shut your well paid trap and clean my fucking mouth, goober.
The good news about all this is that when I finally did go back I wasn't in that bad a shape. There was a fair amount of cleaning needed, but my overall health is quite good, no cavities, bone loss or other nastiness to speak of. Even my gums got a pass, unheard of in my lifetime. I think being conscious of not going to the dentist kept me a little more diligent than if I was going all the time.
The bad news is that my wisdom teeth, which were always considered marginal, should really be coming out. If I wait much longer and there is a problem I'll have a hell of a time getting rid of them due to my rapidly advancing age. So thursday night I'm taking the gas pipe and having bones ripped right out of my head. Then I'm loading up on codeine, waking up friday morning and watching the entire matrix trilogy while holding bags of frozen peas to my head.
Care to join me?
Imagine taking your car in for service, and instead of just reading newspapers from a week ago and drinking coffee flavoured transmission fluid, you have to wait in the car while it's put up on the hoist, and you can't talk because of the thoughtful gag placed in your mouth. But the mechanic can talk, alright. And while you wait, instead of just going ahead and tuning up the car, he or she decides that they're going to give you a really pretty complete lecture about how bad a driver you are, how you're ruining the car, how if you keep this up, they just might have to yank the car away from you altogether.
You get the idea. I gave up on paying for the privelege for a while. You want to know something, dentistry? I actually know I could brush more. I'm aware of it, in much the same way that a smoker is aware the smoking is bad for you. So stop telling me how to brush. I know how. How is not the issue. Stop dropping hints about good times to floss. I'm flossing when I feel like it. Just shut your well paid trap and clean my fucking mouth, goober.
The good news about all this is that when I finally did go back I wasn't in that bad a shape. There was a fair amount of cleaning needed, but my overall health is quite good, no cavities, bone loss or other nastiness to speak of. Even my gums got a pass, unheard of in my lifetime. I think being conscious of not going to the dentist kept me a little more diligent than if I was going all the time.
The bad news is that my wisdom teeth, which were always considered marginal, should really be coming out. If I wait much longer and there is a problem I'll have a hell of a time getting rid of them due to my rapidly advancing age. So thursday night I'm taking the gas pipe and having bones ripped right out of my head. Then I'm loading up on codeine, waking up friday morning and watching the entire matrix trilogy while holding bags of frozen peas to my head.
Care to join me?
posted by Mattvideo at 11:37 AM
1 Comments:
Don't forget the hagen daz!
When I got my teeth out I ate a whole pint to myself, and the cold ice cream kept my mouth nice and frozen!
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