Wednesday, December 8

geshrei

There's something I'm trying to say, about myself. Bear with me a minute.

I was watching last night's episode of House. Did you see it? The one with all the sick babies. I was watching, and I was in there, enjoying and involved. And then one of the babies died right in front of me, and I spasmed on the couch and cried out and couldn't stop sobbing. And I was still watching, and I was mad, angry at Bryan Singer and the rest of them for having a show where a baby dying like that was even possible. And I wanted to be angry, but I couldn't, because this wasn't cheap or theatrical, it was earned. And I just kept watching, and crying, and wanting to hold Max and thank fucking god that I get to hold him as he flies headlong towards five years old. And I'm crying now just thinking about it. And fuck. Good fucking christ, I'm not sure I can keep watching if the baby can die.


And I'm gonna keep watching.

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