crank it over

I was going to write a real cute little "reasons I started and subsequently stopped blogging" pieces. but really, who cares? it's not like anyone is reading this, so..... okay. This blog existed, and really still exists, as a chronicle of my life before my life now. Amazingly, begrudgingly, I fit in to my current situation. I had perhaps the worst day in a year at work today, a completely disorganized and incompetent string of events all of my making, and it was still a better day by a mile than any day at the last place.

It's just past Yom Kippur, and while it's officially the day of atonement, it's also the end of the first go round of fall jewish holidays, and so I'm thinking about it more like it's thanksgiving as well. So, here are the yin yang of me:

I'm grateful that I have probably the best boss in the world.

I'm sorry I'm spending more time daydreaming about how great it would be if I had everything I wanted. It wouldn't be great, that's for sure. Besides for all practical purposes I already have everything I wanted.

I'm grateful that max loves Back to the Future so much that we will in all likelihood be attempting to build a scale model of Hill Valley.

I'm sorry I don't get involved with school for him. Leah gets right in there, volunteers, knows when pizza day is, gets involved. Something holds me back. I'll never be the parent I want to be.

I'm grateful that I get to work with people who's company I enjoy. I like just hanging out talking to them.I picked them, and I picked great.

I'm sorry I'm not going to finish the one minute movie. But I'm not. I'm just smart enough to know in my heart that I'm no good at that. I'd love to make movies, but I self censor with the best of 'em.


I'm grateful that I can write this stuff down, send it out there, and after six months of inactivity be reasonably sure that no one will read it.